The ‘Self-Esteem’ Deficiency
‘A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not on the branch but its own wings.’
As school phased out from hybrid to offline, so did our assessments. Our first test in English was a verbal analysis of a poem we had studied. I worked hard while preparing, came up with the points I wanted to make, and kept rehearsing. But when it came to actually delivering the analysis, I fumbled. I stuttered through the points and managed to get through them. After that, I had only one question in my head.
What changed? I thought it could be that we’ve been cooped up in our houses for two years or that it had become easier to say things when your laptop is the only thing in the room. But it kept bothering me. It didn’t add up for someone who has enjoyed drama and elocution for almost a decade.
In retrospect, I guess I was just in my head and felt that my expectations for myself were a lot higher than required. It caused me to lose belief in my capabilities, which led to an unnecessary outcome.
But that’s what happens, doesn’t it? We get in our heads, doubt our potential and then forget to believe in ourselves. One of my friends and I were discussing if the concept of self-esteem was overdone. It isn’t. If anything, it’s underdone. In a world where we spend more time in a virtual zone than in reality, where everyone needs to stand up for themselves, self-belief is the most essential virtue for progress.
Many people confuse self-esteem or believing in your abilities with being narcissistic. When you’re confident that you can do something well, it doesn’t mean you find yourself overtly admirable. It just means that you’re willing to push yourself to the best of your abilities. Because of this misconception, many people hesitate to show their true selves. They’re afraid to be accepted negatively and just stay in their shell. By not showcasing their abilities, they build a cloud of doubt about themselves, leading to degrading themselves to a point where it isn’t healthy.
If Mark Zuckerberg succumbed to his friends in college when they said that MySpace already exists and his invention would not be any different, we wouldn’t have Facebook today. Instead, his belief in himself has made him one of the most successful people alive in the modern era.
This concept applies to so many avenues of life. So many of us give up after one bad grade on a test or after rejection from one college, but there are so many more opportunities that will allow us to shine to our potential. The moment that light will start dimming is when we stop believing in ourselves.
A leader can have the whole district rallying for his campaign, a movie star could have all the love in their county, an astronaut could have support across the Earth, but the moment they stop believing in their cause, and the moment they start caring what others think about them, they’re all going to fail. Hope keeps us going, and if we don’t have hope for ourselves, the swarms of external help are never going to matter.
But that doesn’t mean we get in our own heads. Not everything we do all the time may be right. Even if you’re satisfied with your figure and are confident about your looks, there is a point beyond which it affects your health. If you keep delaying deadlines even though you believe that you can handle it, that’s still a negative approach. That’s when people should open their ears to criticism and take that positively. If I’m able to reflect on my flaws and make them my strengths, I would say I’ve succeeded in life.
If you’re searching for that one person to change your life…look in the mirror. You’re the change. All you have to do is keep believing in yourself.
